found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
