Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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