Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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