i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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