Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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