dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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