At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
