someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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