I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
