420 ftw
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
