So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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