Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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