a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
