I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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