I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Randomize
