What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
