I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
