glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
