I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
