Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
