Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
