Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
More tranny stories later!
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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