Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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