I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
