We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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