so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize