I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
