He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
