I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
