We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize