I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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