people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
