So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize