I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize