so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
