It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
