But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
