I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
