This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i came on her dog
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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