brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm eating all of the evidence.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
