We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
