your thong is hanging out like whoa
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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