I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
