I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
