Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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