i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
