I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
