I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
