apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
