AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
