her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
