i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
