theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
