So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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