I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
