I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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