every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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