We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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