So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
