Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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