You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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