I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Randomize
