They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
