he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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