I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I need a beard to bite.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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