I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
